I have always been fascinated with bad movies. By bad, I don't mean just bad. I mean the kind of movie that is embarrassing to watch. The kind of movie that makes you laugh where laughter was never intended. The kind of movie that costs a small fortune to produce, but produces little, or no profit. The kind of movie that makes Ma and Pa Kettle look like Shakespeare. The kind of movie that, if it doesn't ruin an actor's career, it damages his reputation. I could write for hours on this topic, but I'm going to limit it to two of the worst movies ever made: Myra Breckinridge and Plan Nine From Outer Space.

Myra Breckinridge brought out the venom from the pen of virtually every critic who reviewed it. Newsweek said it was as funny as a child molester. Raquel Welch, Mae West, Rex Reed and John Houston proved that they had no acting ability whatsoever. There is guaranteed to be something in the film that will offend everybody. If you ever viewed this fim, you had to be questioning whether you were really viewing what you were really viewing.

Mae West, for example, is playing an oversexed, nymphomaniac, octagenarian; talk about art imitating life! One of her "studs" is a young Tom Selleck. She asks him how tall he is and he replies, "Six feet, six inches." Her reply? "Forget about the six feet, let's discuss the six inches." It gets worse, but since impressionable teenagers may be reading this blog, I will not discuss the "worst" moments in this cinema. That may be why you will never see this movie on television.

Plan Nine, by way of comparison, is not offensive, but it is embarrassingly funny where it intends to be serious. You have pilots who are flying an airplane without an instrument panel or a stick (nice trick), grave stones that "bend" when one of the actors accidentally trips over it, a "bald", six foot three, Bella Lugosi; gay aliens with an "attitude',Flying Saucers that look like paper plates because they are paper plates and much more. Perhaps the highlight of the film is one scene where the actors are shot at night and then are suddenly and inexplicably in bright sunlight